~perpetual-heartache

Not much interesting going on with me. I'm going to a My Chemical Romance concert in 5 days! I'm really excited for that. I'm also going to see The Cure in June, and going to Warped Tour in July. Concerts, concerts, concerts lol. I got sent back to my 'therapist'. God, I hate the woman. How is she supposed to help if she never shuts up?! I can't get a word in edge-wise! Oh well, good way to waste time and get out of school. I have an appointment today, time for another go with the refusing to take meds. I don't want meds. Then it's just fake emotions, chemical moods. I'd rather feel my bad moods and my good ones than just be forever in between the two. Wish me luck with the damn therapist!

Love you all, xoxo,
Wednesday

Hello everybody! Or rather anyone that cares. I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth on here didn't I? Oh well, I'm back! If that's a good or bad thing I don't know yet. Lots of stuff has happened, but I won't bore you with it. Too much is bad anyway.
Damn, I'm good at making what was supposed to be a happy journal gloomy haha! Oh well. Love to you all, xoxo,
Wednesday (after Wednesday Addams.....sort of my idol )

I stole this from......somewhere. Anyone can take it if they want.

Would you?
Kiss me:
Hug me:
Date me:
Get tipsy with me(I'm straightedge though):
Kill me:
Love me:
Hate me:
Hold me:
Lie to me:
Hurt me:
Sing with me:
Dance with me:
Touch me(not like that pervs!):
Stare at me:
Cuddle with me:
Let me make a move on you:
Make a move on me:
Play with me:
Watch a movie with me:
Get me a B-day gift?:
Let me borrow your car:
Be there for me:
Buy me a drink:
Bring me around your friends:
Take me to the club:
Ask me out:
like me:
Drink kool-aid with me:
Hangout with me:
Take care of me if I wasn't feeling good:
Hold hands with me:
Do something incredibly sweet for me:
Tell me you love me:
Will you repost this so i can do the same for you (you don't have to):

Recently, I keep having these breakdowns were I just want to die, or kill myself, just make the pain end. I don't know why, I used to only have panic attacks like this after somthing really serious, but now little things set me off too. I'm just sick of feeling like this, but I don't know what to do. I'm scared of myself, of what I might do. This is NOT a sympathy beg, I don't want a lot of 'oh, I'm sorry, let me help' comments. I just can't keep this inside anymore.

Stole this from.............somewhere I don't remember
------------------------------------------------------------------
[ ] I Talk A LOT when I get really nervous.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[x] I'm afraid of the dark.
[x] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is closed

[x] I am gay/bi.
[x] I believe in true love.
[x] I've run away from home
[ ] I listen to political music [...wtf?]
[ ] I collect comic books

[x] I shut others out when I'm sad.
[x] I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I watch the news
[x] I love Disney movies.
[x] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[ ] I am a sucker for brown eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for blue eyes.

[x] I dont kill bugs
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public.
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation
[ ] I love Spam
[x] I bake well.

[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[x] I want a better job
[x] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours.
[ ] I love Dr. Phil.
[x] I like multiple people

[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self-conscious.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I have tried alcohol.
[ ] I drink alcohol on a regular basis.[used to. straightedge now]

[ ] I have tried a cigarette.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick. [WHAT?! they taste good]
[ ] I can't swallow pills.

[x] I have a lot of scars. [emotional and physical]
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I like chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am not comfortable with being me.

[x] I play computer games
[ ] Gotten lost in the city.
[x] Seen a shooting star.
[x] Gone out in public in my pajamas

[x] Hugged a stranger.
[XXXX] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator. [soooo much fun!]
[...fine "x"] Made out in an elevator.

[X] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.[afraid of heights]
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches. [not yet....]
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour [what's a gallon?]

[x] Bitten someone [one of my friends had their hand over my mouth and woulden't letgo! also I love blood]
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[x] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car
[ ] Been to Germany.

[x] Ridden in a taxi.
[x] Shoplifted. [ACCIDENTALLY!!]
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Stole something from your job. [what job?]

[ ] Gone on a blind date. [kinda, but I don't think it counts]
[x] Had a crush on a teacher/coach[goddamn summer camps]
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ ] Been to Europe.[i wish....i wish]
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.

[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[x] Saw someone/something dying
[x] Have a list of people you want to kill. [many, actually]
[X] Ridden in a car over 400 miles in one day [every bloody summer]

[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar.
[X] Eaten sushi. [I sushi!]
[ ] Cried in public.[I don't cry]
[x] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.

[x] Liked someone even though you knew you shouldn't have.
[x] Thought of someone a lot lately.
[x] Have hated the world.